The Knife Bearers Story
by anerdbyassociation
Summary: This is Life before the reaping and during the Games for Clove! Sucky Summary, but I promise the story is better. Pairing: CloveXCato. Rated M for slight sexual content and character death
1. Chapter 1

A Career. Thats what I am. Its simple, I'll go into the games and I'll win. I've been training everyday since I was 12. Train. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. Thats how its been for the last five years. I shake my head, trying to make the thoughts of the upcoming games go away. I have to focus on the here and now, whats important at the moment. Which would be getting to the training center on time. So I rush out of my house, trying not to be loud. Its five in the morning and no one in town is up. Training doesn't start until six, but I always meet up with Cato an hour before to train alone. Just thinking his name brings a smile to my face. Though I quickly let it fade as I walk down the street. I can't allow myself to connect Cato to happiness. People shouldn't be the reason of our joy. Winning and pride. Those are the reasons to smile.

I feel as though I am walking slower than normal today. Maybe its because I want to take the time to see every part of my district as I pass the shops that don't open for hours. And the houses with a single light in the bathroom as someone wakes up to shower. Its only a week before the games. A week before everyone is up earlier to see who is winning. I don't plan on going in this year. Though I know I'm more than ready. I will wait until I'm 18 to volunteer. Not that I want to go into the games ever, but I want to bring pride to my district. Cato, though he wouldn't tell anyone but me, never wants to go in. He is beyond the point of being ready, he just doesn't want to go unless he has to. We may be careers, but that doesn't mean we want to throw ourselves into the middle of a bloodbath. The games change people, they always had. Personally I like Cato the way he is, I wouldn't want him to come back different. And he would come back. Cato would win, because I can't accept the fact he would ever leave me alone in this district.

I realized I stopped walking only a block from the training center. It was as if my feet wouldn't move. Why was it now of all times I am realizing how much I care for him? I can't let myself feel. Not like this, not for Cato. If there is one thing I know about Cato, its he doesn't feel. Not for people. Being the best is what he lives for. Before I can focus back on reality I'm knocked to the ground, being pinned under the weight of someone else. "And you call yourself a Career? With those reflexes?" Those words stung. Those are the words that had made me feel so ashamed as a kid. I open my eyes, to be met with Cato's deep blue ones. I don't take the time to appreciate the beauty of his eyes because something like that would get me killed in the arena. I struggle for a moment to move his legs move part so I can bring my knees up, in an attempt to lift him off of me. It doesn't work. "Come on Clove, where is the fire? Where is the fight! We both know you have it in you!" He is all but yelling now. Thats the Cato I know. The one thats always pushing me to be better. He has my hands pinned to either side of my head, so they are useless. I bring my head up fast, hitting my forehead against his roughly.

"I didn't think I'd be put in danger in my district." I commented, my voice harsh as I watch one of his hands move to his head. With that I take the opportunity to push my hand hard to his side, shifting his body weight as I move my own body. Rolling us over so I'm the one pinning him. "And you call yourself a career." I teased in a low, mocking, voice as I let a smirk spread across my face. Cato is blinking widely, probably due to the assault on his head. I know how he feels though, because my own head is aching and my vision is slightly blurring. Not enough to knock me out, or render me useless. I roll myself off of Cato and lay on the ground for a moment looking up at the sky to see the sun is just starting to rise. A thin line of the morning sky can be seen, though most of it is still filled with the glow of the stars. I hear Cato moving to sit up, though I keep my eyes trained on the sky.

"Damn Clove, you have a hard head." Cato mumbles after a few moments of silence. I look to see him sitting with his arms hanging loosely over his knees as he looks towards the row of houses that are beginning to light up. I look towards the houses as well, not wanting to be caught staring at him. Moving my arms back so I can prop myself up on my elbows I shrug. Not saying anything. Cato and I never really had to have a conversation to feel normal around each other. That alone scared me. How had I come to be so comfortable around another person? Maybe its because the first time I went to the training center he was the one to help me.

_My feet thudded against the stone path leading to the training center. It was my second week going there, and I was late. The trainer wouldn't like that very much. For a twelve year old you would think it would be okay to be late once in awhile. Not when you are training to be a career. Never. I threw open the doors, stumbling as I came to a stop. "I'm so sorry! Am I late?" I asked, my eyes wide and desperate as they looked up at the trainer. He sighed, trying to keep the annoyance out of his face. Though he didn't do a very good job of it._

_"Clove." He began. "Just go to the ropes, I'll talk to your parents about this." Oh no. Not my parents. They wouldn't be pleased with my lateness to train. I glance at the trainer one last time before I moved over to the ropes. Okay. Climb. Climb to the top. Don't let your arms give out. I can do it. Or at least thats what I tell myself as my little hands wrap around the rope. Before I begin to climb, my eyes meet with bright blue ones. Belonging to a boy a year older than me. I had seen him around town a few times before I started coming to train. Cato. His eyes look angry, but thats how they have looked since I first talked to him here. I swear that he smiles for a moment as I lift myself up and begin to move up the rope. Almost as if he was proud of me. I was almost to the top. Was I actually going to do it? On the first try? I shouldn't have let my joy consume me, because thats when my hand slipped. The next thing I knew my back was crashing roughly to the mat underneath of the rope. I could here the older careers laughing. "And you call yourself a career?" I heard the trainer yelling as he came towards me. _

_I felt someone kneel down next to me, as I faded in and out of consciousness. "Clove!" Cato whispered. "Get up Clove. Get up. Fight the darkness. If you get up, you prove your strength." I opened my eyes and nodded, the room was spinning but I only tried to focus on Cato. On those blue eyes that brought me back to reality. I fought the pain and staggered as I stood. But I stood and thats all that mattered. No one thought I would get up. Only Cato. He put faith in me. And I have no idea why._

"Clove? Did you even hear a word I said?" Cato asked, looking annoyed. His voice pulling me from my thoughts and I sighed. Looking at him he could already tell I hadn't been listening. "I asked if you knew who was going in this year?" He asked again, his voice calmer. Normally we all knew ahead of time who would go in. Everyone around here volunteers and its no secret who wants to go in.

I took a moment to think before nodding. "Well I think Chance said something about wanting to go in." Chance was a well built 18 year old in District two. He is one of the more twisted people in our district.

Cato shook his head. "Chance is strong, but he isn't the brightest. Lets hope he has someone smart going in with him." I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to remember who else wanted to go in.

"Chance isn't one to be trusted you know? He would jump at the chance to kill off the other tribute in our district as soon as it gets down to the top three." I paused, searching my mind for the girl. Nothing came up. Shrugging I looked at Cato. "Only one more week." He nodded.

"You aren't planning on going in are you?" He asked me looking up at the sunlit sky.

"Not until next year." Cato knew this. He knew that I planned to go in next year. "I plan to win next year." I said with a firm nod.

"Good." he mumbled getting up from the ground as other members of our District showed up at the training center. "Because I can't have my only friend dying on me."

Best friend. Something Cato had never called me before. It was probably just a slip up since his head was most likely still fuzzy from me hitting his head. Cato never wanted me to go into the games, that much was obvious. He had even said it. Though he also knew there was no talking me out of it. It was the only way to make my parents proud of me..

(A/N: Okay, so obviously I'm no good with writing their characters. Mainly because I haven't read the book in about a year. But I ship these two so hard. So I'm writing it anyway. But feed back would be great :| )


	2. Chapter 2

Its thought by most that any career anywhere from 16-18 are ready to go into the games. Any younger and someone will volunteer for you. What if you aren't ready? What if you want to wait? No what ifs when it comes to the reaping. My whole life has been built around the idea that one day I would go into the games, and I would come out alive. Clove. The victor from district 2! It will happen. Next year around this time I will be throwing myself into the games. Until then I'll wait here in the crowd as the strange Capitol woman speaks about the honor of it all. I search the faces of the sea of people. Only the younger kids, who are just old enough to have their name put in, look worried. I keep myself calm, composed. Out of everyone here, there is no chance I will get picked. If I did, at least I would know I'm ready. The thought of being picked a year too soon tugs at the back of my mind. I don't want to go in. Not if Chance is going to volunteer. He would turn on me whenever the opportunity presented itself. I can't think like that. I've had my name in there for about five years, and have never been picked. This year will be no different.

My eyes find Cato's and he gives me the best smile he can form when not training. He isn't really the smiling type, so I just smirk at him. He nods his head to where Chance is standing. Hands bawled into fists, obviously ready to call out. "Ladies first." The woman says and I pull my attention to the stage. She moves slowly across the stage, taking her sweet time picking out a name. Somehow I know. I know its my name. It going to be me. No, I have to stop thinking this way. It wont be me. I'm sure this thought is going through every girls head right now. It makes me no different. "District two female tribute." She pauses for dramatic effect, looking around at all the faces. Obviously enjoying the nervous look everyone has. "Clove Fuhrman." She announces. It takes a second to process that she has called my name. Everyone around me just stares. I'm a career. They have faith in me. That don't think I'll be scared. I am though. It can't be easy on anyone to have their name called. To know they are going against 23 other people. "Clove." She calls again. "Come on dear." I pull myself back to reality and swallow hard as I begin walking to the stage. When I get up there, she is talking to me. Though I'm not listening. My heart is racing and my palms are becoming sweaty. This wasn't my year. It wasn't suppose to be me. "Do we have any Volunteers?" She askes. Just like every year. Normally she has someone step up. She is probably use to getting volunteers from my district. No one will though. I'm a career. They probably all think I want this. "Anyone?" She asked. No one. They all know I'm a good fighter. That I'm capable of going in there and most likely coming out alive. I lock eyes with Cato who stands in the crowd. For the first time, that I've ever seen, Cato looks scared. Sad even. Cato now connects me to sadness, when he has always been my happiness.

She simply shrugs and begins to speak again. "Time to pick the male tribute." With that she walks across the stage again. Picking out a name and hurrying back over. "Male tribute from district 2 is Sage Tylk!" She called out. The focus of the crowd moved to a younger boy. He had to be about 13. He wasn't a career. I knew that much. The rest of the people kept their eyes locked on him as he made his way, slowly, to the stage. But mine were fixed on Cato, and his were on me. He had a weird look in his eyes. In the last ten minutes I have seen more emotions just in his eyes, than I have in the last five years. I could hear Sage's footsteps on stage. I knew what was coming next. She would ask for a volunteer and Chance would offer himself up. Chance is bigger than I am, stronger. Not faster or smarter. My odds against him aren't good. I inhale a deep breath as she asks for a male tribute. I see the hope in Sage's eyes that someone will take his place.

"I volunteer!" It wasn't Chance. No. It was Cato. I looked at him, I wanted to yell at him. To tell him that he was being stupid. The only word I can form is "No." It was only a whisper, a choked out whisper. I had to look brave though. I couldn't let myself be seen being weak on TV. He never wanted to go in. What was his big plan? Kill everyone together and then fight to the death? Be the final two and then turn on each other? Cato doesn't lose. Was this his plan the whole time? My eyes caught Chances, and I could tell he was upset with Cato for taking what he wanted. For putting himself in the games before Chance could. I watched as he moved to the stage, not taking my eyes off him. Why would he do this?

"Whats your name dear?" The lady asked and he moved to the microphone.

"Cato. Cato Ludwig." His voice was normal. Maybe too calm for the situation we are in now. Though he never let his emotions show. It wasn't his thing, and it never would be.

"Well shake hands." She ordered us in an overly nice voice. I turned to face him, glaring at him. He knew what I was thinking. He knew I was upset with him for coming in. Would he ever tell me why? I shake his hand, digging my nails into his skin to show how angry I was. Though I was more confused and sad, but I couldn't let him know that. "A round of applause for our tributes Clove Fuhrman and Cato Ludwig!" The crowd all cheered and clapped. Happy that two strong and fearless fighters were going in to honor their district. She hurried us off stage and into the Justice building. Before she moved us to different rooms Cato called to me.

"I'm sorry." That was the last thing I heard him say before I was pushed into a room and the door was closed. My father came to say his goodbye, and explained my mother didn't want to come because she didn't want to say goodbye when she knew I'd come home alive. But I wasn't so sure. Not if I was going in with Cato. Because I knew for a fact I wouldn't be able to kill him. Not because he is stronger. More because I.. because he is my best friend.

**(A/N: I know its short, and yes I did use the last names of the actors who played Clove and Cato for their last names. But I'd love for someone to comment and tell me if it was okay.)**


	3. Chapter 3

On the way to the train Cato didn't even look at me. Keeping his focus at the people we passed, a proud smile on his face. I wondered if it was real. If he really was happy to be going into the games. Why did he volunteer? If we both go in, only one of us comes out and that means one has lost a best friend. Shaking my head, I mimicked his smile hoping it actually looked believable. I was okay with going in, I really was. The only problem I had was going in and knowing Cato may not come back. Or that I may not. I remind myself to try to detach myself from Cato the second we get to the Capitol. Too bad that wont be until the morning. I wish I was able to do it. To throw away years of friendship, and feelings just so I don't die in that arena. When we got on the train Cato hurried to his room, not even bothering to meet our Mentor. I want to call his name, to make him stop and explain himself to me, but I can barely even move. Getting on this train makes it all too real and I have to sit down.

Its night fall by now, and I haven't moved from the main cart. I ate and I talked to the mentor, but I didn't really listen. All I could think about was Cato who was hiding out in his room. Was he avoiding me already? I thought that kind of thing didn't normally happen until training. That didn't make sense though, normally Careers stuck together until it was just down to them. So was he planning on going in alone? With no allies? No, Cato wasn't stupid. He may be strong be even he knows he wouldn't make it alone the whole way. Maybe it was just me secretly wishing he would stay with me the whole time. I know I could take him down if it came down to just the two of us. If it meant me living I would have to right? No worrying about it, no thinking about it. Its how everyone else has won before. By not being attached. By realizing that you couldn't care about who you hurt.

"Something on your mind Clover Filed?" My head shot up, looking at Cato who had just walked into the room. It had to be at least midnight, why was he just coming out now? His left eyebrow was raised in a questioning way, and that's when I realized I didn't provide him with an answer.

Shrugging I gave him the best glare I could mange while so confused and tired. "Clover Field?" I asked with an annoyed huff. "And I guess. I'm just wondering how I'm going to win the games." I tried to sound confident, but by the look on Cato's face I could tell he wasn't buying it.

"Eh, is it wrong to give you a nickname? I was bored okay?" He mumbled, taking a seat across from me. His expression was still confused, probably waiting for me to explain on my own. As to why I didn't sound so sure of myself, but when I didn't speak he did. "So here is what you do, You go in use me as back up and then well when its just me and you left.." He didn't have time to finish because I was speaking.

"Use you as back up?" I blurted out. How was I going to use him as back up? He made it seem like he was only there for me to use as some sort of shield. Though that wasn't it. I knew the second he got into that arena he would be doing everything he could to take down anyone who got in his way.

"Yes. Thats why I'm here." He started most likely before he could think about what he was saying. The look I gave him only making him talk more. "I mean.. I volunteered for you. To be in the games with you. I have to protect you." He looked like he was going to speak again, but there was a loud clapping sound as my hand connected with his face. After my hand pulled back, his flew to his cheek startled.

"Protect me? Cato I'd rather you watch me fight off 23 other kids from home! Only one of us is coming out of this thing alive-"

"And its going to be you Clove! Thats why I'm here. I'm going to make sure you live because I'm not letting you die. I can't let you die don't you understand that?" His words hit me harder than any person ever has. He wanted to keep me alive, but without him I would be dead inside. Doesn't he get that? I can't tell him that, I probably never can.

"You plan to die.." I trailed off, standing only a few inches away from him now. That's when my fists came crashing down on his chest repeatedly. Hitting him with every word I yelled. "You. are. So. Stupid!" How could he do this? I can't let him die, and his main goal was to keep me alive. I know that I was over reacting in his eyes. That I was letting my emotions get the best of me. I wouldn't have been surprised if he would have hit me. Instead he grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

"Stop crying Clove." He ordered softly, I hadn't even noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks until he mentioned them. I blinked the tears back and waited for him to speak again. "Listen, Clove." He began, rubbing the remaining tears from my face. This was a whole new side to Cato and I couldn't believe how he kept surprising me lately. "I'm willing to die for you, because I care about you." It scared me how easily he was opening up. What was worse was I knew I would without hesitation throw the games and die for him to win. Even though he was trying to keep me alive, there was no way I would let him die. Because he was too ready to give it all up for me. Cato was stronger than I am, faster and smarter. He deserves to win.

I could feel the tears coming again and I'd be damned to cry in front of him again. His body was moving closer to mine, and I knew what he was going to do next. I wouldn't let it happen though. Everything felt perfect about the moment but I knew it would set me over the edge. So before his lips could touch mine, I pulled my hands out of his grasp and ran out of the room and to my bedroom. Maybe in the morning, we would both forget it happened. Or that it almost happened.


	4. Chapter 4

When I wake up the next morning the first thought in my head is the almost kiss. It wasn't going to be easy to forget. I sort of wish I would have let him kiss me, because it may have been my only chance before one of us died. Looking in the mirror I'm pleased that there is no sign of all the tears I had shed the night before. Quickly I dress myself in the clothes I had on the day before and get ready for breakfast. I know we will be at the Capitol soon, and I will have to be strong. But there is no way I can do that on an empty stomach. When I arrive in the dinning cart only my Mentor is there. She smiles at me and I glare at her. That stops her from trying to make any conversation. Good, that's the last thing I want right now. We eat in silence until the door opens and Cato walks in. "Morning Clover Field." He said with a smirk. Nodding my head in acknowledgment to his arrival, I could have sworn there was a flash of pain in his eyes before he took his seat. Suddenly I had lost all want for food. Being in the same room as Cato after last night made me nervous. He wouldn't bring it up, I know that for a fact.

There was no talking, and unlike when it was just me and the mentor, this silence was uncomfortable and unwanted. All I wanted to do was say something to him. Back in 2 we could sit for hours not saying a word and it would be fine, but now it hurt. I felt like he wanted nothing to do with me after the rejection from last night. Should I have given in and let him kiss me? No. That would only make it harder when he would die. Maybe rejecting him was the push he needed to win the games at any cost, even if it meant me dying along the way. Good. I want Cato to win. I want him to live his life even if it means I can't be there to live it with him.

It came to my attention that I didn't want to win. I wanted to help him win. For selfish reasons. There was no me without Cato. I would rather be dead than to face the harsh world without him by my side. I finally understand why he is so bent on dying for me. Is this what it feels like to truly love someone else? I shake my whole body hard, earning questioning glances from the mentor and Cato. Not like I was going to explain to them I was trying to shake the hold Cato had on my heart._ Clove, pull yourself together. You can't love a boy who is going to die. Talk about tragic. _

Cato looked as if he was about to speak, but before he could the train stopped and the only thing I could hear was the cheering of the Capitol people outside of the windows. Nodding at him, we both stood and moved to the windows. Putting on the fakest smile I ever had to before in my life, I waved at them. This is what they want right? To see children happy to be apart of this. To be excited to shed someone else's blood.

After we see the room we will be staying in, we make our way to the first floor of bedrooms. We had both decided it would be best to meet the other Careers and get them on our side. Since it was only district 1 and 2 in the Capitol so far, it would be easy to find them. "So what you are saying is, form an alliance and at the end its a free for all?" The dark haired boy from 1 questioned.

"Exactly." Cato said, keeping his smirk on his face. "If we work together it will be a lot easier to take out the other Tributes with less skills. After they are all gone the four of us will fight to the death."

"The odds will be more in our favor." I jumped in, trying to convince them that this plan was a good one. I knew when it came down to the 4 of us, Cato would try to take them both out to save my life.

"Marvel, it sounds like a good idea. Its not like its not common for Careers to work together until the end." Glimmer said, her voice was slightly annoying, or maybe what was annoying was the way she looked at Cato. As if she was calling claim on him. It took everything in my power to not lash out at her. What would I have even said? 'Hey, back off this is my best _friend_?' That wouldn't have really made sense. No. Detachment. Don't feel for him. Kill him if you have to. Kill everyone. Win. Don't let anything get in the way.

After they agreed to our offer, we spent three long hours talking over battle strategies. Thinking over all the possible set ups for the arena. We finally just agreed to heading right for the cornucopia and taking out anyone else who dared to go near it. We would have to upper hand, being four skilled fighters with fast reflexes. Instead of going back to the room, Cato and I roamed the building until it was late at night. "3 will be arriving in the morning." He said casually with a spark in his eyes. I knew he wanted to be able to evaluate our enemies as soon as possible.

Shrugging I offered a smile. "You never know Cato, they could look weak and really be cold blooded killers. I say we keep our minds open in the Arena. And weapons handy. Set up camp after we claim the cornucopia." It felt almost sickening talking to him about this. Just having a conversation about the games that we would be in. Not because we would have to kills others. But because it was possible it would come down to the two of us and I would have to send a knife into his neck. I shuddered at the image that jumped into my mind. Cato laying on the ground with one of my knifes in his neck, bloody brutal Cato defeated by a crying weak version of myself. Thats when I decided I would make sure he won. I would make sure he knew of my plans as well.

I stopped walking, causing him to turn to face me confused. "Clove, come on we are almost back at the room." He said obviously sick of walking. Cato was the kind of guy who spent too much time on his feet and liked to relax after a long day. Though I was the opposite. I had trouble staying still. Right now though, I wasn't moving an inch and it seemed to worry him. "Whats wrong?" He asked, taking a step closer to me.

"I don't want to live." I whispered.

"What do you mean? You have to live. You have to win. Bring pride to District 2. Now stop joking around and lets go get some sleep." He told me walking towards me. Though the look in my eyes stopped him in his tracks. "You are serious." He said lowly, looking down at the ground.

"Cato I can't win. It means you die, and I can't just let you throw away your life for me. I'm not worth it. You need to live. I want you to go on." My voice was hallow and my eyes were cold. There was no doubt in my mind. He had to win. I needed him to win.

His mouth hung open, he wanted to speak. I know he wants to say something, so why isn't he? Why wont he just tell me. "Clove.. No. I'm doing this for you." He began, grabbing my shoulders lightly. "You are winning even if I have to kill myself to make sure you are the victor. I can't let you die. I can't watch you die. I can't live a life without you because I need you. You have kept me sane all these years. You are the only thing good about me. Do you not see that? I'm cold to others, but you.. Clove you are the thing that separates me from a monster. You are the humanity I cling to."

What was he trying to say? That I was his best friend? I got that. This goes deeper than friendship though. I love him and I'm sure now that he loves me as well. Before I can speak his lips are on mine and this time I don't try to run. Not at first because I have always wondered how his lips would feel. They are soft and warm, and perfect. My hands snake around his neck and his rest on my sides. Our mouths working together to form a rhythm that only makes my heartbeat faster. In this moment I forget the fact the games are nearing, or that we are in a place anyone could show up at. I forget the promise I made to myself to detach from him. I felt like this could last forever and I would be the happiest girl in the world. Cato was mine. Is that what this meant? That we belonged to each other finally?

Either it was my lack of breath, or the fact I finally realized what I was doing, that brought me to push him back. "Cato!" I hissed, placing a hand over my lips that were still warm with the heat his had provided.

"I'm sorry. I just.. if I'm going to die I needed to know. I needed to know what it would feel like to kiss someone you _love_." Love. He said love. That's when the tears started to flow. Not only from my eyes, but there were tears in his as well.

How could he do this? Was this all a trick? Was this a way to make him my weakness so he could take me down in the arena faster? Is that his whole plan? Did he actually want to win? I couldn't let myself think about that. I also couldn't let myself feel for him. Cato wouldn't do that. He wouldn't kill me, because he made it very clear my life is the one he wants to save. "No! You can't do that! You can't make me care for you more when you don't plan on living. When you plan on giving up your life for me. Its not fair to me Cato!" With that I ran down the hall and towards the room. Leaving him alone and confused for the second night in a row. Was this it? Was this what he needed to put his life before mine? I hope so, because after his confession of love there was no way I could live without him.


	5. Chapter 5

I threw a punch at him, of course he blocked it. Hand to hand combat was one of Cato's many talents. "An 11! Cato 12 got a fucking 11!" I yelled, punching his palms as hard as I could. Train. I needed to train. Its been about a week since the kiss. Both of us made a point to erase that overly emotional moment from our heads. Though I'm sure he thought about it as much as I did. "Tomorrow we go into the Arena and I can't let that bitch have the upper hand!" With that I kicked an unsuspecting Cato in the stomach, throwing him to the ground.

"Whoa! Watch it Clove, Remember I'm on your side." He said, taking my hand as I helped him back up. I couldn't help but wonder if he really was on my side. Ever since I rejected him the second time I couldn't help but feel he was over the whole 'protecting me at all costs' thing. "Good kick though." He told me, placing a hand on his stomach as he sucked in large amounts of air. Shrugging I let my anger consume me as I punched him in the chest causing him to stumble backwards.

"Shit. Cato I'm sorry." I said realizing I was actually hurting him. I let my hate for 12 blind me. Was that the same as my love for Cato? Was I becoming too attached to the idea of killing Katniss that I would make the wrong move in the Arena?

Cato coughed as he struggled to bring air into his lungs. "Its. Fine." He choked out, waiting to catch his breath before he began to speak again. "You may let your rage get the best of you at times but that will help you out. If you get to 12 and are angry enough you may actually be able to kill her." Actually? No. I knew I could kill her, he knew it too. He had to right? Was he already loosing faith in me? "That is, if I let you kill her. Because I want this one. I want to be the one to take down Katniss and lover boy."

I let out a chuckle. "Over my dead body." The room fell silent as we thought over me dying as an actual possibility. I always seemed to say the wrong thing lately. A lot of it involving my death.

"There it is." He said, his eyes lighting up. "There is the fire. There is the cold-hearted, bloodthirsty Clove that is going to win the games." He said confidently. Maybe he still had hope in me winning. Taking my hand he lifted it up into the air. "I can see it now. I present you with our Victor from District two! The sly and manipulative Clove!" We both forced a laugh, because I'm not sure either of us really thought I would win. If I could bet on anyone, I would bet on Cato winning. Its what I want at least. If only I would be able to be alive to see them crown him victor. To see the smile on his face as he stood in-front of the Capitol with his crown and his pride. When I picture it he is smiling, but in reality would he smile? Would he be happy winning if it meant he wouldn't have me with him? I know I wouldn't be smiling. I couldn't be. Because without Cato there is no light in the world, and there is no happiness. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop connecting him to happiness and joy. And before I knew it, he was the only thing that made me happy anymore.

His hand still held mine above our heads. "Victor from District 2, Brutal and bloody Cato!" I cheered, that's when he dropped my hand and glared at me. We have talked this over many times, and he still wasn't pleased with me wanting him to win. If only he knew how selfish the reasons were.

"We aren't talking about this again Clove. You are going to win, and you are going to be happy." He said walking over to one of the couches in the room. When I think about it, his reasons for wanting me to win are probably the same ones that drove me into the mindset of him being the victor. That's Cato and I for you. We would rather the other live in misery than have to face life without each other. At least I wouldn't have to watch him in pain everyday.

"Happy? Without you? Cato without you, there really is no happiness. Haven't you realized that yet?" I asked, sitting next to him on the couch. I hadn't thought about what I was saying until it starting pouring out of my mouth. "If you die, half of me will die. I love you, so take that with you when you leave the arena. Always remember the girl with the knifes. The girl you couldn't save. The girl who didn't want to be saved." His eyes locked with mine as he listened to my soft words.

"How can your voice sound so sweet when your words are enough to kill me?" He asked blinking, most likely to hold back tears. "At least you finally told me you love me." He whispered, looking down at the floor. I moved my hand to rest softly on his cheek, forcing him to look at me. Cato leaned into my touch and sighed.

Before he could speak again I pressed my lips against his lightly. It was a short, soft kiss but it meant much more to me than anything ever had before. I could almost feel his love through the moment the kiss lasted. "Please, win." I begged, resting my forehead against his. "Win for me. You will have to let me go."

"I will never kiss another pair of lips in my life." He promised. With that, I was sure he had decided he would win. Probably because it was me asking him. Begging him, and he knows better than anyone I do not beg. Though this could all just be a trick. Maybe he really planned to make me win last second. I cleared my head from those thoughts because for the moment I truly believed he was going to win.

"Just let me go. Detach from me. Its what I've been trying to do since you volunteered." I told him as he pulled me down to lay with him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around my body and I knew that I would never allow someone else to hold me.

"Never." He whispered into my ear, tightening his grip on me slightly. "In death or life, you will always be the closest to my heart. I'm never going to let you go." He kissed my neck lightly before placing his chin on my shoulder.

I bit my lip to hold back the tears. "Watch out, you are giving lover boy a run for his money." I teased halfheartedly. I earned a short laugh that sounded more like pain than amusement. I hated myself. I hated how I finally open up to him, and the next day we would be thrown into the arena with only at most a week left together before one of us would die. I hated Snow. I hated the games. The games that would kill an innocent pure love. The games that would kill Cato's chance of happiness. The games that would kill me.

"Just sleep Clove. We have a big day tomorrow." He whispered. I could feel his tears hitting the bare skin of my shoulder. Now I didn't feel so weak for staining the couch with my tears.

"I love you." I tell him. "Forever and a day."


	6. Chapter 6

Its been about a week since we first stepped foot in the Arena. Out of the alliance only Cato and I still lived, honestly I thought it was better that way. It meant that when it came down to it, His only really challenge will be watching me kill myself when its only the two of us left. Plus I didn't exactly trust Marvel or Glimmer, not like I really trust anyone besides Cato anyway. He was all I needed. In the Games there were only 6 of us left including Cato and myself. The District 12 'power couple', District 11's male and the girl from 5. I didn't plan on it being long before it was just down to me and Cato. We were doing very well. Considering on the first day we dominated the cornucopia during the bloodbath. I almost had 12 that day. If she hadn't picked up that bag and shielded herself with it, she would have been my kill. "Did you hear that!" I asked, grabbing onto Cato's arm as Seneca Crane's voice faded from the Arena. He had promised that a team of two, from the same district could win. We could both win. We could both get out of face was lighting up with a smile, not caring that the whole world was seeing me happy over something that wasn't killing. "Is this.. is this for-real?" I ask him after a moment of not answering my last question.

Cato simply stood there, staring at me with wide eyes though I wasn't really sure if he was seeing. My first thought was to check his back for any kind of harmful object some unseen person could have thrown. Before I could move myself around to see, he began to speak. "Clove" He Whispered as the announcement sunk in. "We .. We can both go home. We can be together." His smile shinned with enough hope for the both of us. Was that why he was acting so strange? Because we would be together. Did he not understand that the whole world could see his joy over this? That he may come off as weak and in love? That he was showing emotions to anyone watching the games. Which was everyone. One does not simply ignore the games when it is on.

"The victors from District 2!" I cheered as we sat down in the woods close to the cornucopia. We never went too far from it unless we were out hunting for tributes to kill.

Instead of yelling at me for even suggesting his victory, he wrapped his arms around me. Because this time I spoke of both of us winning. Of us getting the chance to live a somewhat normal life together outside of the Arena. For a moment though, I truly believe we both forget we are in the Arena because soon my arms are around him returning the hug. I smiled against the wore fabric of his shirt, happy for the first time in the arena. He looked down at me, softly before speaking. "We can be together, Clover Field. You and me. Always." He said before placing a short kiss to my forehead. This showed how much he actually cared about me, it showed his weakness as well as mine. But now that both of us would be able to live, there was no need to keep up the acts. Only 6 left. They wouldn't really find out about Cato and me being in love. The Capitol would know, our families would know, but that didn't matter to me.

A few hours later we found ourselves back in the same area of woods, after scouting the woods surrounding the cornucopia. "Hey, Clove." He said, putting his arm around me as we sat leaning against a tree. I turned to look at him, showing I was paying attention. "Can you promise me something? Its really important."

I sighed. "As long as I'm not promising you that you can kill 12." I told him with a smirk. 12 has been my main Target and I was more than disappointed that I didn't find her in the woods. She was probably off somewhere taking care of Lover boy. Did that even count as a team since his leg was barely usable?

He chuckled slightly before becoming serious again. "Lets be a bit more serious Clove." He said, tracing light circles on my shoulder. "Can you promise me that after all this is over. After we get out of this Arena and leave it behind, just promise me you will still love me." His words took me by surprise. Did he even think for a minute I would stop loving him if we won? Never. He had to know I wouldn't do that to him.

I turned to look up at him, almost knocking his hand from my shoulder. Placing a hand on his cheek I sighed. "Remember what I told you? The night before we left to go into the Arena?" I asked. He had to remember. If he remembered, he would have his answer.

Without hesitation he responded. "You told me that you loved me, forever and a day." He repeated the words I had told him the night before the games. I knew that our parents were probably disappointed in the way we were acting. The weakness we showed. The emotional talks. The kisses here and there. They probably recognized the need for more than just a kiss every now and again. How much longer could we go before we acted on the urge to go further? Even with the world watching? Pushing the thought from my head I began to speak.

"So yes Cato I promise to still love you and only you forever. You will always have me by your side, and I know I will always have you." The only thing I cared about was Cato. Not the fact I seemed like a love sick puppy. Not all the emotional and overly mushy things I was saying. No. Only Cato. He was the only thing in my mind, and the only thing that had a hold on my heart. I bet Lover boy and Katpiss got sponsors for being in love, and we never would. Maybe we just weren't likable enough.

"Good. Because if you stopped loving me I'd be as good as dead. Without you, life wouldn't be worth living." So Cliche. So sappy. Yet it still made my heart beat faster. We looked at each other for a minute. Neither of us sure of what to say next. I didn't think words would really express how we felt. Awkwardly and slowly we both leaned in, as our lips touched the awkwardness fled.

Our lips moved together in a passionate and slow kiss. It wasn't enough for either of us, so I moved myself to straddled his waist. I could feel my pants by my knees becoming damp from the grass I was kneeling on. I didn't care. I was only focusing on Cato's lips and hands. His hands rested on my waist, pushing my shirt up ever so slightly. Feeling a breeze of mid day I was brought back to reality. "Cato." I mumbled against his lips as I remembered where we were.

"Just forget about the arena." He said, pushing my hair behind my ear. Forgetting about the arena could be dangerous considering there are four people out there ready to kill us. Before I could protest, not that I'm even sure that I would have, he kissed down my jawline and to my neck. His teeth skimmed the skin of my neck before he left a trail of bites and kisses along my neck. I tried to keep silent, but there was no stopping the soft moan that escaped my lips.

_Just forget about the arena_. Forget about everyone watching. Because there is still a possibility I wont make it out of here. If I don't, I'm not going down without doing this. Cato moved his hips up and I rolled my hips against him. Causing friction where I wanted it most. Our lips connected back together and before I could process what was going on, Cato's hand was fumbling with the buttons on my pants. My breath was shaky as I pulled back a moment and rested my forehead against his. Once my pants were unbuttoned he moved a hand to the back of my neck. He didn't move though, he stayed put. Most likely because I had broken the kiss. I almost wanted to yell at him for doing nothing. Instead I moved my lips back to his, feeling his hand tangle in my hair as he deepened the kiss.

_Just forget about the arena_. His hand was up my shirt now. They were cold as they ran over my chest. I didn't care, because all I wanted was for him to touch me. As his fingers ghosted over my breasts I moaned against his mouth. That's when I felt his other hand leave my neck and move down the front of my pants. His fingers teased my sensitive area, causing me to move my hips forward. Hitting his hand as I kissed him rougher. Needing to do anything I could to forget the about being in the arena. To forget everyone could see this happening. It worried me that I stopped caring about that.

I've forgotten about the arena as he moves me back to lay on the grass. Our clothes disappearing fast until we had nothing left on us. Our bodies moved together, intertwining until we were moving as one. If we made it out of here, this would be the night I would take with me forever. The night Cato and I made love in the grass of the Arena when being attacked was a possibility at any moment. YOLO.

Once all the grass and dirt was washed from my body in the lake, we could only smile at each other. Sure it was weird to feel so happy and fulfilled in the games, but I couldn't help it. That's when Seneca's voice boomed through the Arena again. "What do we need at the feast?" I asked casually as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

Cato threw his arm around my shoulder and sighed. "Probably something to help us win. As far as I know, Lover boy needs something to heal him and 5 probably needs food or something." He said shrugging. It seemed logical enough. "Its getting late, we should find some place to sleep." He suggested and I agreed. Tomorrow would be an interesting day. Everyone would be brought together in one place tomorrow. It would be like a mini blood bath, and I would be ready to take down 12.


	7. Chapter 7

_How many? _I wonder._ How many times have I called for Cato? _3.. maybe 4 times. No matter how many times I screamed for him, I'd get no answer. Maybe he is too far out in the woods to hear me, as Thresh yells at me about Rue. I try to tell him that I didn't kill her but it doesn't matter. He has a Career in his grasp, he would be a fool to pass up this chance to kill me. I bet he was happy with how disparate and scared I sounded. Because I was scared. Scared of leaving Cato alone in the world. Scared that I was about to die. He had been right, splitting up was a bad idea.

_-Flashback-_

_"Its nearly dawn." Cato told me after he shook me awake. It was almost time for the fest. Where we will all be brought together at the cornucopia, for what the games makers hope to be the second bloodbath of the games. The only one who will be dying is 12. _

_"Guess we should get ready. You can scout the woods around the cornucopia and I'll get the bag and take out 12." It was casual. It was serious. It wasn't a suggestion. I planned to kill Katniss at the feast. With her dead, Lover boy wouldn't survive through the night._

_"No." He protested glaring at me. "We stick together. One wrong move and 12 could get the upper hand and kill you." Cato seemed worried. Of course he was. Being alone in the games was always dangerous. Though part of me felt like he was underestimating me. That he didn't think I was smart enough to take her down. That I wasn't strong enough or good enough. That I just wasn't enough. I know I am over thinking it, but it still hurt. My thoughts were more dangerous to me than anything else._

_Shaking my head I stood from the ground and bit the inside of my cheek. "Cato, she can't hurt me. I'm a better fighter. No one here can hurt me, do you think if I wasn't good enough I would have made it this far? Just let me do this!" My voice was angry, but almost unsure. Was I the better fighter? Could I really do this? Did it matter? No. Because I was going to do it anyway._

_"Clove, I just don't want to be away from you. One of us could get hurt. You are a great fighter, you are perfect okay? I just can't stand the thought that you may slip up. That you wont get out of there fast enough. I can't let you die." He paused to stand as well. Taking my hand in his. "Lets just wait until everyone else gets their bags and then we will go for ours. No one will stay at the Cornucopia longer than they need to. Its the least safe place for anyone but us." It was true. No one wanted to be there. It was dangerous. Out in the open, and pretty much our territory since day one. His plan was the smartest idea._

_"No. Just let me! I'm not going to miss the chance to kill her! I promise to give the audience a good show if you let me have her." Of course my hate for Catpiss blocked out his logic. I should listen to him. I know I'll regret this later, but right now I can't help it. _

_Cato sighed, but he knew trying to fight with me was useless. "Fine." He mumbled before wrapping his arms around me and bringing me in for a kiss. Once we broke apart from the kiss he tightened his grip on me, pulling me closer to his body. "But don't make me regret letting you go." _

_-End Flashback-_

"Clove!" Had I really heard it? It was the faint calling of my name. It had to have been Cato. I knew that voice anywhere, even if it sounded a thousand miles away. Thresh picked up on it too. Though he didn't look to sure he had heard it as his eyes scanned the woods for a moment.

"Clove!" Katniss, Thresh and I looked directly at the woods. We had all heard it now. His voice was louder, yet he was still so far away. Too far to matter. I've given up all hope that he will be able to save me. I'm the girl with the knifes. The girl who he couldn't save. The girl who actually wanted to be saved now. I try to call for him again, but 11's hold on my neck tightens.

"Cato." The word was a choked out whisper that only Thresh could pick up on. My gaze moved to 12 who was still laying on the floor, her eyes wide and terrified as she watches Thresh hold me against the cornucopia. Why isn't she running? She had more than enough time to get away. If she doesn't run now there is a good chance that Cato will kill her when he finally gets here. The next few things happen in a blur. A rock smashing into the side of my head. Thresh letting me drop to the ground. 11 and 12 having a conversation. My sight kept blurring in and out of focus just like my hearing. A ringing in my ears blocking out most of their talk.

"Clove!" That I could hear loud and clear. And it was loud. He was closer, much closer. Still he would be too late. He was probably right at the edge of the woods by now. Will he be upset to see me like this? Unable to move and moments away from death. Will he let all of the world see him cry? For a minute, I really hope he will. Show that it really wasn't all an act.

"You better run now, Fire girl." Thresh said to Katniss as he grabbed his bag. Was he letting her go? That wasn't fair. He let her go, and now there was no doubt in my mind that the annoying couple from 12 would win the games. That somewhere along the way, Cato would die as well. I could hear Thresh taking off, maybe even 12 was gone by now.

My hearing and vision came back to me, replaced by a pounding in my head and an unbearable throbbing pain in my left eye. "Clove, please please stay with me." When did he get here? When had he pulled my head into his lap. When had he decided that it was okay to show more weakness?

"I'm.. sorry. I can't" It was a harsh whisper, hurting my throat as I coughed. My voice was low, barely even coming out. I didn't even think I could speak, but it was for Cato. I felt water hitting my face and now my eyes were scanning Cato's face. He was crying. His tears slipping down his chin and onto my face. He looked defeated, broken and I'm the reason why. Without even trying, I was slowly killing him. At my words his eyes became hopeful for a second. He probably thought if I could speak, I could live.

"Yes you can. You are Clove. The strongest girl I know." His voice was pleading, not as hopeful as his eyes had been only seconds ago. The tears wouldn't stop, and not from my eyes. From his. He was Cato. The strongest boy I knew. And he was crying over the girl who couldn't be save. I'm sure by now he realized I was unable to be saved.

"I'm so sorry Cato." I said weakly. _I'm sorry for splitting up. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry I'm going to die._ Trying to hold back all the emotions. I knew soon I wouldn't be able to speak at all. I couldn't let him watch me die. I had to fight. Try to live. Though we both knew there was no hope for that.

He shook his head as if he couldn't believe this was actually happening. "You broke your promise." He whispered, pulling my body closer to him, smoothing my hair back. Pushing away the mess of blood and hair from my face. I couldn't move, and I'm sure I felt all but lifeless in his strong arms. "You promised you would always be by my side! You can't die Clove! You can't leave me. You can't break that promise." He was yelling now, but his voice wasn't angry. It couldn't be while he was sobbing. I let him down. I coughed up blood and I felt like I was going to throw up. I wouldn't though. Not while I was so close to death. My body probably knew that throwing up would take too much effort.

"I love you." I whispered. His forehead was pressed against mine now, and I could feel every single one of his tears as he shed them. "Don't cry." I mumbled, my words coming out slow and all but soundless. I knew I couldn't say much more but there was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that he was everything I could have ever asked for. Cato was the only thing that had kept me sane all these years. He was the only hope I had of being happy. And I was his. Now he wouldn't have me anymore. All I wanted for him was for him to be strong. For him to win the games and find someone who wasn't doomed to die. It was becoming hard to breath and my breathes were loud and shaky.

"I love you Clove." He whispered against my cheek as he kissed away the tears that I was now shedding. How did I not notice I was crying? Maybe I just thought they were all his tears. "Forever and a day." He promised. It was a promise wasn't it? "I will never forget the girl with the knives." His voice sounded so far away, but he was right next to me. Pretty much on top of me as he held me.

"Its going to be okay." I say in a trembling voice as my breathing became louder. It would be okay. Or at least he had to believe it was okay. He had to have hope of a better future. We would have never worked. Not with going into the arena together. For a moment I was happy. Happy that he had come in with me instead of watching me die on TV. Though now I knew he would die as well. So District 12 are the star crossed lovers? I'm sure they will win, whats so tragic about that? Cato and I we are the star crossed lovers if anything. What a tragic end to such an eternal love

"Its not going to be okay." He mumbled, still sounding miles away. "I wont be okay. I never will be again." He told me as he ghosted his fingers against my forehead. His touch cooled off the heat that I felt in my face. I had a fever, I knew it. Everything hurt. My head felt like it was about to explode and I had to close my eyes. The last thing I saw was Cato. That would be a good imagine to take with me wouldn't it? No. Cato's eyes were red and watery. His face was broken and in his eyes I could see no light. Cato had been the only light in my life, and now in death I would take away all the light from his life.

A cannon sounds through the Arena as Cato holds Clove. She is gone. Never coming back and he knows it. He takes one of her hands in his and kisses it. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. This is all my fault, Clover Field." There are tears in the eyes of Clove's friends from District 2 as they watch all of this happening. Everyone in the world has forgotten about Peeta and Katniss as this plays out in front of their eyes. Cato bawls his other hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm. As the hovercraft comes, he doesn't let go of her hand. Not until she is forcefully pulled from his grip. "I'll see you soon, Clove." He promises. Everyone in the world now knows, Cato doesn't plan to win. Because without Clove, what is there really to live for?


End file.
